11 strange things to sell with sex

This week we witnessed the true influence of the blogosphere when JCPenney pulled its bikini-clad Phoebe Cates commercial after a flood of complaints. Although the commercial was pretty sexist, men’s slacks and polos are far from the strangest thing to be sold with sexy advertising.

None of the ads in this list are NSFW, but some get pretty darn close!

1. Web Hosting

Known for producing a string Super Bowl commercials that are “too hot for TV,” GoDaddy.com has set the modern-day standard for selling unsexy products with sexy ads. Unless you think DNS is hot.

2. Extremely Unhealthy Burgers

I guess it’s better than challenging your customers to pig out, but does anyone actually find watching the beautiful Padma Lakshmi scarf down 54g of fat sexy? Don’t answer that.

3. Floor Cleaner

Not only does this ad try to sell you floor polish with sex, it’s also promoting making love in a very uncomfortable place. Get a bed, you two!

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4. Paintball

Unless I can run around the paintball field in my camo bikini and stiletto boots, this is also false advertising!

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5. “The Crumbliest, Flakiest Chocolate”

Apparently Cadbury has been running ads like this for its Flake bar since the 60’s. It’s only taken American advertisers until the 21st century to catch up.

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6. Dual Zone Automotive Air Conditioning

The KIA Sportage allows you to set a different temperature on each side. 72 degrees on the left, and 42 years on the right. In prison.

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7. Mushrooms in Brine

I’d say a pretty good rule of thumb is to keep fungi and sex as far apart as possible.

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8. Strawberry Juice? We Think?

File this under “Um, what?” Especially when granny pulls out her shotgun. Run, gyrating berry thief, run!

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10. Non-Shoe Items from a Shoe Store

Hey, Zappos doesn’t just sell shoes anymore! They sell – uh – visors? Oh yeah, and copycatting.

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11. Flavored Water

I’ll bet you can’t win an staring contest with teenaged model Kate Upton! No, not because she’s in a bikini, silly, it’s because she drinks LifeWater.

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